How Guys REALLY Feel About Bras

January 8, 2009 by Matt Hosely   | Filed under Ask the Guys, Featured

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Matt Hosley is just an everyday guy who encounters strange things. He  currently resides in Lexington, KY and has his own hilariously entertaining blog, Strange Situations. He will be joining us as a guest blogger from time to time, to give us the his take on fashion, beauty, and women.

Look at the knobs in that bra!

Look at the knobs in that bra!

In the eighth grade during spirit week each day was devoted to a different theme.  There was Maroon and Gold day (where students dressed in the school colors), twin day (where you and a friend dress like alike), and cross dress day (I think this one is self explanatory).  I honestly don't know how cross dress day was approved, but as the self proclaimed most spirited guy in the school (later I was actually voted most spirited by the students and teachers in my eighth grade yearbook) I had to dress like a woman.   My mom would never have let me leave the house in a dress, wig, pantyhose, and bra so I had to borrow them from my cousin and change in the bathroom during homeroom.

Turns out that most of the students skipped this spirit day, but I was in full on female clothing.  I stuffed my bra with toilet paper like many of the girls in my class did on a daily basis and by the end of first period I had a rash where the wire on my bra was rubbing against my boyish pecks.  I was also sweating profusely through the bra which was starting to smell like my athletic supporter and cup after a long baseball game in 100 degree weather.  I know it is said that girls do not sweat, they glisten, and this is the first time I actually believed this statement.  Girls don't typically smell like my athletic supporter and cup, so they must not sweat while wearing a bra.  I found the material to be very itchy as well.  By third period the bra was in my backpack, I'm sure whoever got my french and math books the following year wondered why they smelled like boy crotch.

The Fonz: How could he NOT be good at taking off bras?

The Fonz: How could he NOT be good at taking off bras?

By the end of the day I was wondering how girls wear a bra everyday, it is a headache and a hassle.  It wasn't until several years later that I experienced a bra from the other side of equation.  Guys always complain about how hard it is to get a bra off of a girl in the heat of the moment.  Every once in a while I would have trouble, but for the most part a quick snap of my fingers and the bra would be unhooked and I would be trying to rip it off and throw it on the floor.  I guess guys get nervous in the midst of passion. They struggle to get the bra off because they are worried about not living up to the girls expectations and they stumble and shake as they mess with the metal hooks on the back of the bra.

Ellen has had lots of practice with bras.

Ellen Degeneres: experienced bra remover.

Taking a bra off while you are shaking with nerves is like trying to draw a straight line during an earthquake.  What makes it hard is that you have to be gentle and suave while you are doing it, you can't just pull and tug or you will either A: rip the bra, or B: turn the girl off.  If I had to pick the worlds best bra removers it would be, Michael Jordan, LeBron James, The Fonz, and Ellen DeGeneres.  Let me explain... the first two are inhuman athletes, they perform under pressure better than just about anyone on the planet.  They would be calm and cool during the process of removing the bra and have no trouble seeing the treasure held behind them.  The Fonz and Ellen both have experience taking off several bra's and are not as good under pressure but have so much experience it is second nature to them.

I have gone bra shopping with girls and it is horrible.  They always want to know my opinion on the bra.  I do not care what the bra looks like, guys do not care what the bra looks like.  When bra shopping you should base your decision on the following factors, comfort and then price.  That is it, nothing more.  Honestly, how often does someone else see your bra?  If you have a boyfriend he most likely only sees it for a few minutes before it is in a pile on the floor, and even then a lot of the time the light is off anyway.  Guys typically don't care what the bra looks like, they care about what is behind the bra.  When was the last time a guy carassed your bra?  Do you know why?   Guys don't care about bras.

Every once and a while it is nice to have a nice lingerie bra that can set the mood, but don't spend a lot of time or money deciding. Guys who like boobs are not going to care if the bra matches your panites and how much lace is on it.  A bra can be sexy but don't spend a lot of money investing in something that has little to no use on a day to day basis.  If the bra is comfortable, and it fits, buy it.

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Comments

4 Responses to “How Guys REALLY Feel About Bras”
  1. Audrey says:

    That photo of Ellen Degeneres creeps me out! Hahaha, great write up!

  2. Amanda says:

    I loved this! The funny thing is I have always thought guys could care less about what our bras look like. Thanks for the confirmation.

  3. MizzJ says:

    hahah hilarious article! It’s great to get a man’s perspective, women often get too wrapped up in their own neuroses.

  4. Ashley K says:

    LoL I love this writeup. I also had a spirit day in high school, with the cross-dressing and everything, and I love how the guys had to deal with things like bras and high heels (even if for only one day)! Fun memories…

    -Ashley
    http://breakfastatsaks.blogspot.com

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